Digicam

I am looking to acquire a digital camera. Any suggestions? Things to keep in mind:
1) after about three days on our cross-country road trip, Kramer and Christine stopped letting me take pictures. I am terrible. I don't want anything overly fancy.
2) I do need to be able to zoom, take pictures in shoddy light, and have it auto-focus when the photographer is, ahem, out-of-focus.
3) I want it to be able to store a sufficient number of pictures that I can go all day on a sightseeing tour, snap a whole load of photos and not have to worry about memory space.
4) I want it as user-friendly as possible (read: I'm a dumbass) and it has to be easy to upload to the cyberscapeweb
5) As I'll probably lose it, it doesn't make sense spending a shitload of money. $300 or under, is that possible?
I would appreciate any comments.